Mary G Bruno

When I was a kid and did not yet understand the drastic difference between TV sitcoms and reality, I remember waiting with excited expectation to see Uncle Jesse slide into the kitchen on the next episode of Full House and talk about how great it was to be the Grand Marshall of the Endymion parade that happened the weekend before in real life.  He must have forgotten.  I also thought I had miraculously solved the problem of world hunger and poverty, too- I mean, why couldn’t Santa Claus just drop 6 figures into all the household Christmas stockings that really needed it?  Duh.  And if I was patient enough, I would totally be able to pass my sister and brother up in age and become the oldest sibling.  Don’t worry, I can be very patient.  And when my daughter grows up, I can’t wait to teach her all of my mad volleyball skills.  Oh waaiittt……

Now that we have magically crossed over into the land of adulthood, we can easily look back and see where our beautiful and childlike capacities were limited.  You continue to see it in your children.  You also have what seems like infinite wisdom in comparison to their growing judgment.  But what makes us so sure that just because we are adults now, we have it all figured out?  Or that we at least have a pretty good idea of what we need?  If we can humble ourselves for a moment, we can see that where plans for our lives are concerned, big and small, God will always know better than us.  He will always be the adult, and we will always be the child.

But this is good news!  I am personally grateful for this fact because without fail, He will always give me what is best, even if I cannot see it that way.  I use to think that having a baby meant defeating my disease; making years of physical pain, confusion, and disappointment worth something!  I now know that is not true.  Victory means conquering my own will and accepting that God knows what is best for me, and completely submitting to whatever HIS Will is.  And my suffering is not wasted!  It is Redemptive, has helped me grow, become more appreciative and compassionate, helped me learn, and the list goes on.  It may feel counterintuitive at first, but this is where true peace lies.  Do we ever stop to think that maybe it is we who are getting in the way of our happiness, rather than God?  I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know that God holds me no matter what. Period.  And that is what gets me through each day.  And this can be applied to all that God teaches us- even the things we think we don’t agree with; things we do not understand.

No, it does not mean that the pain is gone.  It does not mean every day is full of rainbows and sunshine and warm chocolate chip cookies, although I try to get cookies in as many days as possible.  It means that I can appreciate suffering and carry it better- even with joy.  Newsflash: we are not going to always get what we want.  We shouldn’t expect to.  Are we children?  Just because we have adult problems does not mean that it is any more right for us to demand our will.  It is not He who must conform to us, but we who must conform to Him.  But, ya know, I mean that’s only if we want to truly experience our heart’s deepest desires and stuff, no big deal.