Mary G Bruno

Some of my super powers are obviously making coffee, choosing the right gifs for texting emphasis, and watching TV. Ok I’m kidding. My actual favorite super power is rapping. I hope you understand how silly it feels to write that sentence, but really [Insert serious face]: this time I’m serious. The fact that this is so unexpected and still so surprising even to me (I mean, look at my picture) is an indication of God’s jaw-dropping, world-changing creativity. Our super powers are not distributed according to our upbringing, skin color or appearance, age, family traits, or parental approval and expectations. I unknowingly allowed these details about myself to hold me back, judging my gifts into submission because why would this conservative white girl possess that ability? I know, try not to laugh. But eventually I turned 25, was getting married, and my then soon-to-be husband and I were aiming to shake up our first dance with something fun and unique- so naturally we chose to rap an original song. I accidentally mustered up enough braveness to tap into this gift. Completely unaware of my talent but driven by heart, I dared to type some creativity into my iPhone notepad and was dumbfounded at how easily and naturally letters and spaces combined to form some pretty cool rhymes. Yes, this both confused and thrilled our wedding guests.

After the mic drop at the end of our song, my rapping fun was over and I put my gifts back on the shelf because again, what was I gonna do with them? Years passed. We began to accept that we were going to have to deal with some pretty complicated stuff. Infertility was hitting us hard and not withholding any punches. But this would force me to recognize that God created me for more than having children. He gave me some of His talent, which would serve no one by sitting on a shelf. Those buried gifts were getting antsy. They silently teamed up with passion, pain, and self-expression and began banging at the door of my heart until I could no longer ignore it.

I was Peter Parker gettin’ bitten by a spider
Who was pushin’ fierce venom through the veins of this fighter
I pulled myself up and tossed my pride in the can
So I could be unleashed and find my inner Spiderman
Before the bite I was just tryin’ to survive
Then what should’ve killed me actually made me come alive

I needed to explore my creativity and express these new emotions in a way that I could not only feel and connect with, but that I hoped would help others who understand pain as well. Like water through a shiny new faucet, the words began to flow. Before I knew it, I had written a hook and three impressive verses that cleverly combined faith, humor, and pain to paint a picture of what it means to suffer victoriously. I called it “Battle Wounds” to reflect how my 11 physical scars from multiple surgeries have become a consistent reminder of where I have been and how God has made me strong.

Sooo what do you do when you create something with such power and beauty? Naturally, you save it to your computer and don’t show anyone for years. Again, my demons of self-doubt and lack of confidence kept “Battle Wounds” in the dark until one day when my closest friend and fellow infertility warrior, Elise, was over at my house and unknowingly encouraged me to bring it into the light. Elise has always been more open minded than me. She has the ability to think and act outside of the box, see the beauty in everyone, and love them where they are. In the most randommest (a word? Not sure) of moments and after digging through years of files to find them, I showed her my lyrics. I couldn’t watch as she read them. Was she going to confirm what I feared? That I was silly to do something so weird? I was shocked when she expressed how truly impressed she was with my writing and even more shocked that she didn’t appear to be lying to make me feel better. 

After several rounds of her convincing me that she was being honest, a spark was ignited inside of me. She didn’t judge my talent by considering what I look like, how I talk, or what I should or should not be doing with my time. Her own potential insecurities did not hold her back. She saw goodness in me and affirmed me. It was so simple! And that tiny bit of encouragement gave me the confidence I needed to push the edges of the box I was comfortably living in. And the timing couldn’t have been better. Not long afterwards, I worked a retreat Elise and her hubs brilliantly organized. They flew in an experienced rapper (go find Oscar TwoTen!) to give a talk and headline a concert on Saturday afternoon.

On the morning of the concert I just happened to walk past Oscar and he shocked me as he kindly spoke words to me (I am shy and generally/never initiate convos with strangers or even non-strangers), expressing that his wife was a fan of me (ME?!) because of my “Taking Back the Terms” outreach. My newfound confidence was responsible for making words come out of my mouth: “Really?! Thank you! I am a fan of yours. (here it comes….) I’m a rapper too!” I can only imagine what was running through his mind as I chewed on the not-so-tasty fact that I could not put the words back into my mouth and as he stared at someone who looks like me and just referred to herself as a rapper. But to my complete surprise, the words did not make him run away, but intrigued and even excited him? He literally said: “Really?! Do. You. Want. To. Do. Something. With. Me. On. Stage?” (He didn’t stop after each word. I just heard it in slow motion.) My heart pounded. The spark grew. And as I shared the second verse of “Battle Wounds” with him to prepare for our performance, he, too; a stranger experienced in his field, affirmed me, and watered (for the second time) the seeds of passion and talent God planted inside of me so that I could finally sprinkle it into the world.

Rapping and performing was never a dream. It is still not a dream. It is something I can now confidently say that I was created to do- to glorify God, express my joy and pain, and help others. It is something I will do even if no one else wants to listen. Elise, Will (her hubs), Oscar, my husband Chris, and my other close friend Julianne are all my little superheroes. Their honest encouragement and coaching has given me confidence and motivated me to push myself and truly improve in my craft. I have now written 5 solo songs and 2 collaborations with Oscar which will be recorded soon. 

I believe some of our biggest limiting factors are our own self-confidence, lack of awareness/imagination, and freedom to explore our creativity- perceived or in reality! I also think one of the most significant factors in making or breaking any of those last 3 special ingredients is our support system: family, friends, and respected acquaintances- sidekicks. I haven’t conducted any research or anything, but I’ve noticed that a very large majority (if not every single one) of hopefuls on shows like The Voice and American Idol that showcase the whole background of a contestant, are backed by an incredibly passionate support system and it is really quite beautiful. This always strikes me. It makes sense that it is those of us who are surrounded by such reassurance that are able to develop our crafts to the extent of being displayed on some of the biggest of stages. One fashion designer mother of a young woman singing for a “4 chair turn” believed in her singer/songwriter daughter so much that she designed and created a stunning dress out of fabric scattered with the lyrics to one of her songs. It is no wonder we need our sidekicks to excel and become the best versions of ourselves. Whether we “make it” or not, we understand that we are loved and valued, and begin to fly.

My friend Elise’s favorite quote is from Mark Twain: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” We all have insecurities and occasionally feel small. It can be hard to build others up when we fear it will highlight our own weaknesses, real or perceived. But our “super powers” are not supposed to all be the same. Someone else’s excellence cannot diminish our own and internalizing this will help us support one another. Even if we choose to ignore or insult the spark in our loved ones or acquaintances, our value remains the same. The extent to which we are able to acknowledge the beauty in others may be a measure of our character, but not a measure of our worth. When we can love ourselves for exactly who we are, we have no problem helping our people shine. We have to make the choice to be the one someone needs to see the goodness inside of them and affirm. Be someone’s sidekick and help them recognize and utilize their own super powers. I think this is one super power that is common to us all- to bring out the best in people. When we flex this super muscle, we become our Creator’s sidekick and contribute to the ongoing construction of our captivating world. And don’t worry, I will continue to make coffee taste as little like coffee as possible and maintain my stellar ability to watch TV.