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He is mine in a way that he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood.
-Desha Wood
Motherhood is expressed in a myriad of ways, and sometimes that means forming a human entrusted to you by another woman. No matter how our little ones arrive under our roofs, we hope to provide them with everything they need to be successful, confident, kind, and faithful. We want them to appreciate their differences and know how deeply they are loved.
This applies across the board, but adopted littles will naturally have questions and experiences that biological cousins and friends will not. And that’s okay! Chris and I have done our best to address this early on and prepare Bella for her future by being as open and honest with her as possible.
We have talked freely about her birth mother and half-siblings since before she could understand what the words meant. We talk about the fact that her “tummy mommy” loves her so much that she allowed us to raise her. There is a picture of Bella being embraced by her birth mom hanging in her room so she can see who she gets certain features from. We pray for her whole birth family by name every day.
And we read to her.
Books have a unique way of capturing our hearts, making our spirits soar, and enlightening our minds! There are a few in particular that we LOVE to read to Bella. Some of them speak directly into hearts touched by adoption, and others simply highlight the beauty of our differences and foster an appreciation for ourselves for exactly the way we are.
I could not be more proud and excited to share my reviews of some of my favorite books to read to our adopted little.
A Mother for Choco
So I have my favorites, and then I have my favorite of all the favorites. That’s this little guy. Choco is a little bird who was all alone, so he sets off on a mission to find his mother.
First, he encounters a giraffe. He asks the giraffe if she is his mother because she is yellow, like him. Then he finds some penguins. He asks one of them if she is his mother because they both have wings. Next, he finds an unfriendly walrus who shares the same round cheeks. But none were his mother, so Choco remained sad.
Finally, he spots a bear who he is sure couldn’t be his mother because they have no matching features. When the bear hears the little bird cry out “I need a mommy!” she rushes over to console him. After she hears his story, she inquires: “If you had a mommy, what would she do?”
Choco responds that his mother would hold him, kiss him, and sing and dance to cheer him up. So Mrs. Bear does all of those things and asks if she could be his mother. Choco points out that she does not have any of his features. She agrees and they both chuckle as she adds that a yellow bear with fat cheeks and wings might look funny.
The bear then takes Choco home to meet her other children – a hippo, an alligator, and a little piggy. They all laugh and play together as Choco takes a moment to appreciate the fact that his mommy looks “just the way she [does].”
-Insert three heart emojis here-
Click here to purchase “A Mother for Choco.”
I’ve Loved You Since Forever
This one is written by a New Orleans native who now stars on the Today Show. It’s a much simpler read with beautiful illustrations and a warm message of a love that exists before a meeting ever takes place.
Adorable depictions of numerous animals and/or starry night skies grace every page. As the book progresses, we learn about the desire for a child that is present long before it becomes a reality. I like this concept because it feels so familiar.
I firmly believed there was a child meant for Chris and I long before she was here. We just didn’t know how she would arrive. Anyone who feels the call to become a parent knows that longing well.
So, we tell Bella “I’ve loved you since forever…before birds flew over rainbows…and the sun rose in the sky…before the moon lit up the night and elephants wondered free, there was you…and there was me…
Waiting for the day our stars would cross and you and I turned into we.”
Click here to purchase “I’ve Loved You Since Forever.“
God Found Us You
Are you ready for another one of my favorite favorites? Because, holy moly, this one brings on all the feels! I didn’t even know we had this book. One night, I was rummaging through Bella’s bookshelf and caught a glimpse of this gem. I was thrilled to find something new and as I turned the pages, I felt my heart grow. This one was meant to connect with me as a mother just as much as it was meant to assure Bella of our love.
It begins with a baby fox who cuddles up with his momma one night to hear the story about the day he came home.
Like me, Momma Fox loves to tell the story.
She begins with a phrase that she repeats throughout the book: “When God found us you…” The first time she says this, she continues with “…it made me the happiest mother in the world.” She assures Little Fox: “I longed for the day that you would arrive, when God would find us you.”
As Baby fox is trying to wrap his head around how big his momma loves him and how ardently she desired to welcome him, we learn a little more about Mrs. Fox’s heart. She had to wait for a very long time. The more she waited the more she prayed. She was sure he would arrive one day – “…when God would find us you.”
Momma Fox even describes how much she struggled. She remembers how hard it was to see other mothers with their babies. Baby fox asks “You were lonely for me?” (This is where I lose it.) His mom responds “Very. I could not wait until the day you’d come, the day when God would find us you.” She expresses how hard it got, but that she also trusted that God knew they’d fit together perfectly at the right time.
Then the little fox asks a tough question – “How come I couldn’t stay with the mother who had me?”
The fox assures him that she had “very big reasons” and “must’ve thought it was best for you.” She adds that both she and Little Fox’s birth mother probably prayed equally hard for him and hoped he would be safe.
The book goes on – Little Fox asks if she will be his forever mommy, to which she promises “Always and forever. No matter what.” and assures her son that he is treasured and celebrated. The pictures on each page illustrate a doting Momma Fox. I appreciate how clearly depicted the love and cherishment is for Little Fox.
I do want to note that on one of the pages, the author uses the phrase “give you up” versus “place you for” in reference to adoption. Many including myself prefer language that highlights adoption as a loving and intentional choice, rather than a “giving up.” I think it was a minor oversight by the author and it is easy enough to change the words when reading.
Overall, it’s an excellent read for momma, daddy, and baby to come together in celebration of the unique way God forms each family.
Click below to purchase “God Found Us you”
Click here to purchase “God Found Us You.“
The same author also wrote the bestseller “God Gave Us You“
God knit you together in your mother’s womb, then he wove you into our hearts.
Unknown
Born From the Heart
This one is as unique as the illustration on the cover. I’m actually not completely sure about how I feel about this one, but I wanted to include it because I think it will help adoptees who are a little bit older to understand how much their adopted parents desired them long before they shared a home. As they get older and become aware that friends came from the tummies of the mommies they live with, this book may help them to grasp a bigger picture. Although they were not born from mom’s belly, they were born from their parent’s hearts. That is just as special.
The main character is Rosie. She and her husband, Charlie, desire to grow their family and learn that the “magic recipe” is love, enthusiasm, and patience. Rosie takes that special “potion” (I would’ve chosen a different word) and “felt something new beating inside her chest.”
Her doctor confirms that they are going to have a baby, as he “can see something gleaming in [her] heart.” Rosie’s heart continued to, literally (as displayed in the pictures), increase in size. Her clothes even stopped fitting.
“From the very first heartbeat, Rose loved her baby to the moon and back.” As they wait to meet him or her, they prepare a nursery. Then one day, they knew it was time when they received a phone call. The book then illustrates the hills and valleys they go through to finally get to their child.
They arrive at someone’s home and Rosie’s heart “bursts” of happiness, and she and her husband embrace their little one for the first time. “This is how Rose’s baby was born – from her heart.”
I have read this to Bella once so far. She is four years old and although she enjoyed the book, I also think it confused her. I will probably wait a few years to read it to her again because she took it too literally. But overall, I appreciate the parallels the author tries to draw between waiting for a child through adoption and the traditional process of growing a family. No matter how the baby arrives, he or she causes our hearts to grow tremendously.
Click below to purchase “Born From the Heart”
Click here to purchase “Born From the Heart.“
There are times when the adoption process is exhausting and painful and makes you want to scream. But, I am told, so does childbirth.
-scott simon
You Are Special
Okay, I know it feels like I keep saying this – but I have saved the best for last. This book says nothing specific about adoption, but I can promise that it will make every human feel special.
My spiritual director is actually the one who recommended it to me – for myself, not my daughter! But it has truly become one of Bella’s absolute favorites.
The book is beautifully illustrated and introduces us to a small town of wooden people, called Wemmicks, created by a masterful woodworker named Eli. Every Wemmick has extremely unique physical characteristics, personalities, and talents, and almost all of them do the same thing all day, every day – give stickers.
The pretty ones with smooth textures and more obvious talents get stars.
The ones with rougher edges and odder personalities get dots.
That’s where we meet Punchinello, who is covered in dots. As hard as he tries to be like the more successful Wemmings, he still can’t compare, and racks up so many bad marks that he doesn’t want to leave his home. He begins to believe that he isn’t good enough – until he meets Lucia.
The fact that Lucia doesn’t have any stickers at all intrigues Punchinello! Neither stars nor dots will stick to her. Punchinello admires Lucia for this ability and seeks to uncover the source of this gift, which calls for a visit to Eli.
The Master Woodcarver is thrilled to see Eli, who is taken aback by how treasured he feels in Eli’s presence. Eli basically interrupts Punchinello’s apology for having so many marks to ensure him that he doesn’t care what the other Wemmicks think.
“All that matters is what I think. And I think you’re pretty special…Because you’re mine. That’s why you matter to me.”
Punchinello had never felt so loved, and sits in awe as he takes it all in. Eli explains that “the stickers only stick if you let them….The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers.” He encourages Punchinello to visit every day so he can remind him of his value.
The moment Punchinello begins to believe Eli’s words about how incredibly special he is, the first of many dots loses its grip and floats to the ground.
-Insert crying happy tears emoji here-
At times, adoptees may feel more different than others. But it is our differences that make us so unique and wonderful! I hope this book will help your little one feel special no matter the circumstance.
Click here to purchase “You Are Special“
There’s one more recommendation for the road! It’s not specifically about adoption, but I love how it highlights the gifts and talents of each individual person. It is a story told from the perspective of a parent imagining the amazing person their child will become.
Infertility has either directly or indirectly illuminated abilities I was either unaware of or was never encouraged to pursue. This has encouraged me to be more aware of Bella’s gifts even at an early age. I want to foster an excitement for all the gifts God has given her to brighten the world.
“This is the first time there’s ever been you, so I wonder what wonderful things you will do.”
Click here to purchase “The Wonderful Things You Will Be.“
By: Emily Winfield Martin
These books are just a few of many whose authors have creatively captured the best of the human spirit. Nothing can substitute the one on one communication you will have with your child as they age. Most of the teaching will happen throughout the day, but I hope these books are able to take a little of the pressure off. I hope it helps you to form a confident child who is certain of how deeply he or she is loved. I also hope it warms your heart in the process. These gems have done as much for us as they have for Bella.
Born not from our flesh, but born into our hearts. You were longed for, wanted, and loved from the start.
Unknown
Mary G Bruno 
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